The Lone Gray Hair

Okay girls the day has come that I find most dreaded, the day of the first gray pubic hair. I always swore when that day came I would dye my hair including my pubes. I found my head could not wait that long and have been dying my hair for almost twenty years. I had a car accident where I crushed the left side of my body in 1987. Talk about a life altering thing. The only bad kick back from that besides having to learn to walk again and a bunch of metal that used to stop me at the airport was the sides of my hair went gray. Remember the Poltergeist movie where to mom went gray, well the doctor explained that really does happen from trauma. I am living proof. He told me a box of dye would cure that and it has ever since. Oh, back to the point, when I was a much younger and wiser person I used to say that when my first pube turned gray I would dye my hair. I have found myself in a pickle, I already dye so what to do with the lone gray pube. You got it, I pulled it out. Ohhhhhhh myyyyyyy did that hurt. Save yourself the trauma and don't do it. I could do what Angel did while trying to control the hair that starts to ride up your butt crack as we gracefully age and Nair it. Of course, she dealt with butt burn and the humiliation of our whole family not letting her live it down. Okay, I now have a waxing system but the last time I tried to clean Muffy up she turned purple with bruise and got a little puffy. So girls take my advice grow gray gracefully, I know I will from now on.

Still Snowing

Okay enough is enough. It is still snowing and we already have a foot of snow on the ground. I want it to stop so we can play outside. Do you remember building forts and having snowball fights. I do. We had so much fun outside in the snow. Snow angels are a must. Gracie is down the street, my little 19 month old god great grandchild, who is ready, willing, and wanting to play. She likes to go through the snow piles or did when they were small. We will see how she does. We have a couple of kids in the neighborhood and I think I can instigate a fort or two. May be a snowman contest. I can not wait to play. My pups are none to happy 'cause their butts are buried while trying to use the bathroom. Rocks still likes it when I throw shovel fulls of snow at him but he is hard to see since he is white. I guess that gives him the advantage. I hope all are warm, with food, and safe. If not come on down, I will am blessed with plenty. Hot chocolate. Yum Yum!

Winter Storm

The Midwest is being pummeled with snow and ice today. It is time to stay inside with a warm bowl of chicken soup and reflect on the wonders of my world. There is such beauty in the snow. I was always told there were never any two snowflakes alike, just as people. I am blessed to have a warm home, plenty of food, great puppies, and a bunch of old photos to dwell upon today. One of my favorite activities for days like today is to look at photos of days gone by and appreciate all the fun times and laughter I have had over the years. I have so many good memories entwined in them. I catch myself daydreaming about that one specific day and the events that took place. I giggle at the thoughts that come to mind. I wonder how some old friends are doing that I haven't talked to in a while and think this would be a good day to write and find out. I really do want to write but never do. I am sure when we all catch up again there will be plenty of stories and laughs to be shared but in the meantime I have you all in my heart with a warm cup of soup and giggle.

Mom and the County Fair Man

Off to the county fair we would go, mom and her six kids in tow. It was a wonderful adventure for us as children because we didn't get to go out much since there were so many of us and it was expensive to do much. The only other thing besides church I can remember was the drivein movies where mom would pop a grocery sack of popcorn and mix 5 gallons of lemon/limeaid. At the fair we would look at the animals and things there to see. It was quite an adventure until we would come around the corner to the yardstick man. I think he felt sorry for our mother with all the kids. He remembered her year after year and would supply her with at least a box of yardsticks everytime we came. I wonder if he knew that she would go home and break them on our padded behinds. We used to pad our butts before we would make her mad with Highlight magazines. I am sure the county fair man did. Yes as children we were spanked. We still laugh about making mom chase us around a round coffee table we had so she could spank us. Not only did she have to chase us demon children but if she did catch us to spank us she would break the blood vessels in her hands. It didn't hurt us at all and was all in great fun that we would do things to get her mad. The yardsticks came in handy since mom could only break so many blood vessels before she couldn't use her hands. The only problem is she wasn't a very good aim with the yardsticks and would end up cracking them while in midstream against a piece of furniture that just got in the way. Mom would then declare if we did not stop the running and take our punishment that she would tell DAD when he got home. We would stop in midstride and beg her to beat us. We still laugh to this day and yes I have used the threat, just wait till your father gets home.

Our 43 year old son, Will!!

Seeking a single female ready to have a steady relationship with a very handsome man living in my basement. Will has been with us for eight years or so and we have not been able to pawn him off on anyone. He is a gentlemen, funny, caring, attentive, makes good money but a little tight since he is trying to pay off everything he owes, plays pool at home, babysits the dogs, cooks for me on Sundays, and when I am not feeling well helps clean up the kitchen. Why can I not find him a girl?? Basement Bob found a girl and has gone on to be married and is living happily ever after. Okay, so maybe he doesn't have a car right now, doesn't go anywhere to meet girls other than work but he works in a restaurant that has plenty of girls coming in. He doesn't hear very well and can be louder than norm, doesn't let you finish your story before interrupting, and is always in the washer before me. Girls, I need a little help here.

Welcome to the Neighborhood (Hood) and then comes Rocks

Ker and me moved from the west side of town to New Jersey street after a couple of years of marriage. We had always had play dates for Sassy, our busy boxer girl. I kept my brothers boxer, Mohammad through the week while he worked his nursing shifts. He kept Sassy on my nursing weekend option shifts, that would be a 12 hour shift from 6 PM to 6 AM. It was a great arrangement till we moved. Sassy could get jump over of a 4 foot fence with no problem so we built a 6 foot to solve the problem. She could open the front screen door at the other house so we didn't give her screen door options there. Sassy is an escape artist of the highest level, no cage held her either. She is exceptionally smart, she even talked Mohammad onto the roof from out the window at the old house (talk about panic and trying to get them back in before they splatted on the driveway). My brother put the fence in within the first few weeks of living in the hood, as it is lovingly called by all. In the meantime, I walked her around to potty and get used to the neighborhood. We waved to all the front porch neighbors, stopped, chatted, and had already started socializing politely while sizing me up. They were dog people or people people mostly. Six foot fence done, what a relief, no walking Sassy, she could play and potty in our own yard. No, NO!! She jumped the 6 foot fence from one yard to the next till she found dogs to play with. I, in my pajama's ran down the street, running up to fences to peer for Sassy. Finally found her with the help of neighbors but I in my PJ's, how embarrassing. They neighbors no longer sized me up and it started the kickoff of the weekend cookouts on our porch. Sassy, on the other hand, needed a friend to keep her in the 6 foot fence so I found Rocks. He was an 8 week old white boxer. I had to take him cause of his dumpty, duh attitude and wow he was cute. Ker was not impressed with my purchase when he got home from work. He told me I would have to take him back, too late I was going to ride out the storm and keep him. Sassy liked him and so did I, I knew that Ker would eventually come around. Next night Ker had taken the cellphone picture of Rocks and people adored him. He called and told me Rocks was his and I was not to make him evil like Sassy. New home, new boxer, new friends, priceless. May the white light surround all and protect them throughout the day.

I see you have met Angel!!

Isn't she the best. I am the oldest sister, she is the middle, and Liz is the youngest. Like she said we are a tightnit family. The deaths in our lives have only served to let us know how fragile life is and brought us even closer as a family. Angel is my hero and will always be so but more on that later. My husband is a manager at a very famous restaurant and the apple of every one's eye. We are very caring people working on martyrdom and have brought a lot of the people we have met and dealt with into our family. They are going though some changes at the restaurant and I think we are going to have to have a moral booster party at home for them. You think a masquerade would be good? I need a pink flamingo costume for Ker. Half of the staff there call us mom and dad and definitely come to us with there problems. We are here for anyone at anytime, except for during Boston Legals taped episodes. We were married onstage by a lawyer friend that became judge for the day. Ker's, my husband, parents strict Baptists and mine Catholic. We are spiritualists, me more so than him so it didn't matter where because God is with us everywhere and we needed a place big enough for all to come and celebrate. Ker and I have been best friends for 20 years. I have seen him through his divorce and he through mine. He is the most sane person I know with no judgement toward anyone. When it comes to martyrdom, he wins with his patience, especially with me. I can be a little terror on occasion. If that is the only trait I meld from him I would be happy. May the white light of the lord surround and protect you throughout the day.

Hello!!!

Hey, it's Angel! It is nice to meet you. I am the middle of 3 sisters. We also have 3 brothers, one is now deceased. Our mom is still living but my father has also passed away. May God rest their souls. We are a very close family and I cherish every minute I spend with them. Most of us live within 5 miles of each other and the remaining are within 20 miles of us. We often have game nights where the card game, Hearts, is the game of choice. Holidays are always filled with lots of love, laughter, and life. Even my sister-in-law, who was married to my deceased brother is still a HUGE part of our lives. She is more than just a sister-in-law! She has become a great friend and a sister to us. She was living in Evansville when my brother died and she moved back home so she and my niece could be closer to our family when he passed a way. We couldn't be more blessed to have her in our lives.

I have two beautiful children who are well on there way to wonderful lives of their own. My daughter is 23 and in college. She is also a color guard instructor and has a nice boy friend. My son is 19 and in the Marines. He just got engaged to a wonderful girl on Christmas eve. I have been married to the same man for almost 24 years. There is something to be said for the longevity of our marriage now-a-days.

Jule's the Child Raised?? Never always learning.

My kids are out of the house now and all productive citizen's. No one is in jail and they all have homes and jobs. They have given me 8 wonderful grand kids that I think are great. The bum who stuck a fork in it had a wondering eye and a problem with the drink so he got the boot or should I say I ran as fast as I could after 19 years of marriage. There are a lot of great memories from earlier times when I was still naive and believing all people were innately good. About the cheating, he had my best friends that we hung with and even my brother new of his extra girls. I now have not had any contact with all of those people since I found out the depth of all of their deception. My brother and me are still close and I have forgiven him but threatened to beat him with a big stick if it ever happens again. I have no ill will against anyone from that time and am a firm believer in karma and what goes around comes around. I also have come to the conclusion that while choosing this path for my life at seventeen, the growth of my soul was enormous for taking the road of not being vendictive through it all and still believing there is good in everyone of us. It has taken me years to forgive my ex who had someone move in the day I moved out. I hope for his happiness and everyone Else's. I know I am happier and free of the past life and am thankful for the person it has helped me grow into. If it wasn't for all of these events, I wouldn't have met my soul mate, lover, and best friend. May the white light surround and protect us all throughout the day.

This has happened to me and we will leave it at that!!!

WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER: If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car .They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Jules 2

I graduated highschool at the age of seventeen. I had to go every day for the last few months to do so. I was notorious for not being able to make since I worked a job at night. My grades were still A's and B's but school didn't hold much interest. I was already making the almighty dollar. I worked in a Waffle House in '77 and was raking in forty to fifty bucks a night as a kid going to school. That was a lot of money for back then so I thought I had it all figured out. I was buying my first cart, which my father picked out, a Dodge Dart that was orange with baby moons on it, not my choice, to old fashioned. I wanted a heavy chevy or camero. I met a man of thirty something that stuck a fork in my bum and I was done. He had the prettiest and most polite children I had ever met. "They hadn't been around my family yet." Their mother was deceased and they needed me. My mother always said if there was a stray in need I would bring it home. I fell for the children and the man that thought I was the best thing since sliced bread. You know that I was smart enough to not bring him home because of his age and kids. I don't regret that time in my life because of the person it turned me into. May the white light surround and protect you.

A little about Jules

I am from a family of eight that being two parents, three brothers, and two sisters. We grew up in the country and were surrounded by farms. The only part of farm that we had was a kid farm. Mom didn't realize that when dad was poking fun at her that he really didn't mean another kid. We had a great childhood running amok out in the fresh air. We climbed trees, rode min bikes (ask Angel about her experience), blazed trais in the ravine, and jumped off the roof into a pile of leaves. You see, our mom had enough of us and would not let us in the house. Poor thing, we totally terrorized her and she us with lots of love. Even though we have aged we still are very close knit. A lot of people find it weird but when they are welcome to one of family events they seem to be more understanding. I only hope all of our kids will keep up the tradition of love that we have shared and willingness to look past all of our differences to keep being one big family with everyone invited in. You poor people, you don't know what you are getting yourselves into. May the white light surround and protect us all.

To Blog or not to Blog, that is my question.

Today I start blogging. I have a lot to say so this is a good way of letting out some of my mind that is just dying to be heard. My ideas are to help people who need some positive flow turned there way. Everything is so negative right now it will just get worse till we put out the positive. I have at least 4 people who will be blogging with me to tell the good news. My good news today is it is snowing and we are supposed to get 3 to 4 inches. Sassy, my boxer is on an diuretic due to heart failure and cancer, will have plenty of extra water in the form of snow. She will clean the back porch off by going back and forth eating all of the snow without getting all of the water she doesn't need. If you are on diuretics for heart or kidney failure eat snow or ice, thirst quenched without as much water. My other boxer Rocks (mommy's little box of rocks that weighs 120+ pounds) is full of pep and vigor, running and playing in the snow. The snow is white, peaceful, and brings a smile to my face. I can't let them have all of the fun, I have to go through shovels of snow at them and make my snow angel for the day. May you all be safe today and I cover you with the white light of God for protection.